Secretly Loving You (85• Concealing His Pain) Sidnaaz

“I called Mom and Dad to meet me today as well.” She informed him as he put his black t-shirt on her after bathing her. She was seated on the slab. He just nodded and kissed her forehead.

‘I called them because I want to bring him close to her. I can see the unsorted things between him and her Mum are disturbing him, and I just can’t see him like this.’ She thought, staring at him when he was drying her hair by rubbing the towel. She had no idea the problem she thought was bothering him was trivial compared to what was truly bothering him.

Then he carried her inside the room, and all she could do was stare at her loving man. The way he cared for her flourished her love for him, and she couldn’t stop herself from kissing his lips hard.

“I love you, my hottie biker.” She whispered after drawing away from his lips, and he just smiled and laid her down on the bed.

“From tomorrow your exercise will be started to open your body. I have called a trainer.” He told her, putting up the comforter over her.

“So boring.” She pouted at him.

He smiled and kissed her pout. “But it’s needed for your body, Kiddo. I, Ethan and Ella, all will join you as well.” He said, placing his hand on her face.

“It’s okay. Nobody has to do all this with me.” As she said, he rolled his eyes.

“You think if you say no, I won’t do exercise with you.” As he asked, she shook her head.

“I love you.” She kissed his cheek, bringing a smile to his face.

“I love you more, my kiddo” He kissed her cheek as well.


Sidharth was out for a walk in the garden with his mother in the evening. There was a complete and awkward silence between them. Their faces were being touched by the breeze, and the trees’ leaves were gently swishing.

“Sidharth, how are you?” Mia initiated the conversation.

“I have Sana with me. I’m great.” He answered and flashed a smile which wasn’t genuine. It wasn’t that he wasn’t delighted to have Sana with him; it was just that the thought of losing her again was driving him nuts.

His mother could read his face, but she stayed silent because she didn’t want to bother him by talking about all those things which were stressing him.

Sidharth composed himself and asked her, “Why have you again come into Dad’s life? What happened to the person for whom you left us?” Sidharth asked, staring at her with deep pain in his brown eyes.

“He is no more. He left this world five years ago. I met your father three years ago in the cafe when for two years I had been trying to move on from the grief of losing the only person whom I could call mine, and drowning into the pool of darkness. I never have a baby again after you because I was afraid that I might hurt him as I had hurt you.” She was in tears while telling him about her life. Sidharth was just listening to her silently, her tears were hurting him, after all, she was his Mother. He had a strong connection with her.

She smiled and continued, wiping her tears. “I would have died, but your father stepped into my life again and gave me a second life. He loves me a lot.” She had been through a lot, but because of Sidharth’s father, she was happy again.

“Do you love him?”

“Of course, I do. I love him now.” She immediately answered him.

“I just don’t want you to hurt him again, Mom.” As he called her ‘Mom’, mechanically a lone tear of contentment trickled down her cheek. He wiped it, and she contentedly smiled at him.

“I’m never going to hurt you both again, Sidharth, and I’m sorry for all the misery which I gave you.” She apologised again, staring at him with guilt in her eyes.

“It’s okay, Mom. You chose your happiness. People will call you selfish, but what you did was right at that time, otherwise, you would have always regretted and stayed unhappy for choosing me all of your life. I couldn’t even imagine my mother suffering all her life because of me.” As Sidharth said this, Mia just stared at him in disbelief. She never thought that his son would ever understand the reason for leaving him, but this miracle happened because of an Angel, Sana.

“Thank you for understanding me.” She smiled, placing her hand on his face, and tears of joy streamed down her cheeks.

“Let’s have a fresh start, forgetting all this. Okay?” He rubbed off her tears, arching his brows at her.

“Okay.” She nodded, smiling at him.

They again started walking.

Finally, Mia gathered the courage and asked him, “Sidharth, what have you thought about your anxiety issues?”

“I’m never going to ride the bike again.” He told her his decision in a solemn tone while still walking.

She came to halt and spoke, “Sidharth, this isn’t the solution.”

He turned towards her and stared at her with immense pain in his eyes. “I know, but I’m so frightened to ride the bike again. You know I have started getting nightmares of losing her.” He told her in a crying tone.

In his dreams, he kept seeing her dying in his arms, and it was worse than any torture for him; it was slowly killing him from within.

His mother gave him a sorrowful look. “Sidharth, I think you should tell Sana about this. Only she can help you. You need her at this time.”

“You think, I don’t want to share with her? My soul is dying to tell her everything because she is the only one who can give me peace at this time, but I can’t tell her. She has just come out of a coma. I can’t give her stress. I can’t be selfish.” He turned around and silently cried, squeezing his eyes shut. Even in this situation, all he could think of was his kiddo. He could suffer alone, but he couldn’t risk telling her about his misery.

“Everything is gonna be fine, son. All the sufferings of life just make us strong, and I’m with you in all this.” She gave him much-needed assurance, placing her hand on his shoulder.

He spun around and firmly hugged her before burying his face in her shoulder and weeping like a baby. “I’m so fucking afraid to lose her.” She just patted his back and let him cry, and seeing his son’s condition brought tears to her eyes as well.


Inside the house, Sana was desperately waiting for Sidharth to come back because she was missing him.

“Dad, when will they come back? It’s been an hour.” She asked James, seated on the sofa with him.

“They’re spending time with each other after years, Princess.”

“I know, but it’s just that I want Sidharth to do my head massage. It’s spinning.” She told him, holding her head between her hands.

He chided her “Why didn’t you tell me before? Today I’ll give a head massage to my Princess.”

“Don’t worry, Dad. Sidharth will give.” As she refused to take a head massage from him, he glared at her.

“Shut up! Tell me where the oil is kept.” He asked in a stern tone.

“In the drawer.” After telling him, she placed the finger on her lips.

He smiled and went to bring the oil. He returned with the small bottle of oil and ordered her to sit on the floor. She meekly followed his command and sat down. He sat behind her on the sofa and began giving her a head massage.

“Wow, Dad. Your hands have magic. I’m feeling so relieved.” She was enjoying the massage with her eyes closed, and he was just lovingly massaging her scalp with a smile on his face.

“Now I want you to visit me daily and give me a head massage to me.” She giggled after saying this.

“Sure, Princess.” As he agreed, she turned around and stared at him in disbelief.


“So what? It’s not a difficult task. I would love to meet my daughter every day.” She grinned as he said.

“You’re sweetheart, Dad.”

“You’re sweetheart too, Princess.” He pulled her cheeks, making her laugh.

As he continued massaging her, Mia and Sidharth entered the room. Sidharth was feeling better after sharing her sorrow with her Mum. A warm smile flashed on his face, seeing the bonding between his father and his kiddo.

“Dad, are you trying to take my place?” Sidharth asked, strolling towards them, and Mia followed him.

“Shut up, Sidharth. Dad is doing better than you.” She said teasingly and winked at James.

“Oh, I see! You mean I don’t give you a good massage.” He curled up his lips, showing his fake anger to her, and she laughed.

“I’m angry, and you’re laughing.” He frowned at her.

“Because I know you’re pretending.” She giggled, covering her mouth. “You look so cute when you fake being angry.” He only grinned at her as she gave him a flying kiss. She was the only source of joy in his life.

“Anyway, Dad will visit me daily and give me a head massage. Mom, will you come with him?” She asked Mia.

“Of course, sweetie.” Mia politely answered.

As Sidharth came with the comb and a rubber band, James stood up. Sidharth took his father’s place and began combing her hair lovingly while she asked Mia through her eyes, ‘is everything fine between her and Sidharth?’ Mia blinked her eyes in response.

Sidharth perfectly braided her hair and secured it with the rubber band before placing it over one side of her shoulder.

Sana noticed it and asked, staring at him over her shoulder in amazement. “Wow! How did you braid my hair so perfectly, Sidharth?”

“I used to do this every day when you were in the coma, and I have learned this from youtube.” He told her, placing his hands over her shoulders.

Her eyes shimmered, and she rose from the floor and gave him a tight hug after sitting on his lap. “You’re the best boyfriend.” She squealed and kissed his lips passionately, completely forgetting about James and Mia who were smiling at them. As she realised their presence, she became scarlet like a tomato and hid her face in his chest.

He chuckled, hugging her and muttered, “My kiddo,” before placing a soft kiss on her head.

“See you tomorrow.” James waved to them and exited the room with Mia, holding her hand because he didn’t want to embarrass his daughter more.

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